Suddenly, I feel like I am in entirely too much of a hurry to have my life work out like I think it should. Because my younger sister got married, and a bunch of my other friends are in relationships that are either headed that way or seem very soon to be, what I am doing hasn't seemed good enough to me and I kept pushing for more.
Not anymore.
I'm going to focus on doing exactly what I need to do at any given moment, whatever that may be. Focus on making myself happy through smaller things (workouts, massages, new shoes, etc) and using the new lawyer job I'll start working in after the bar exam, I'm going to start living the glamorous life I've always wanted to live. If it's just me, if I'm not married, I can do exactly what I want all the time. I can buy very expensive shoes, live where I want, go on vacations with girlfriends, you know, pretty much whatever I want. All the other stuff will come with time and just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that it's the right time for me. In fact, I know quite a few people who have not only been married and had kids--but now they're separated or divorced. As a future divorce lawyer, this is good news for the industry--but how embarrassing to be in your low-twenties and be divorced. Marriage is a serious, serious commitment, and I don't think that many young people truly appreciate that.
It's not happening for me right this minute and that's okay. I can wait, and in the mean time, I will be perfectly happy. I don't have a choice. It is what it is.
There's no rush. I don't need to do the same thing as everybody else, especially when it seems like its probably not the right decision for them, anyway. It takes longer to develop into the kind of person that you're going to be forever.
Anyway, I'm a pretty cool girl without a diamond on my finger.
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