First of all, let me just say that I really, really, passionately hate searching for a job. It is the most frustrating experience ever. I don't know whether it's the endless cover letters, the follow up, the "no, thanks, but we don't need an unexperienced law student right now" or all the necessary supplies (the resume paper, the envelopes, the stamps) that drain me of energy, but just thinking about job searching makes me want to put on some sweats and go back to bed.
So far, I have sent out eleven applications--and by applications, I mean unsolicited resumes. It's hard to be sure that I am sending it to people who are actually interested because, after all, who really WANTS a brand new attorney? Who wants to put all their eggs in a basket when that basket may just fail the bar exam anyway? Of course, I don't think failure is an option. When you have loans like I do, you don't really have the luxury of taking the bar exam lightly. You study, you do what you're supposed to, you study some more, and then you make notecards so that you can keep studying. I must pass, that's all there is to it. But, of course, potential employers don't know this. All they know is that I'm the girl who boasts a certain GPA and pretty ivory colored resume paper. Who knows, they may not even pay attention to all that stuff--but I admit it does make me feel better to send it on pretty paper at the very least. I refuse to send a resume as an attachment because I think presentation is so much of the battle and I need to present myself in print. Who knows if that really works, but I think it looks nice and I will continue to do it until someone tells me not to.
It's so funny how many things you don't think about until you're applying for jobs. You wonder what every single little thing you put on your resume might say to someone. You even wonder--is it a job application faux pas if I use a white envelope and ivory colored resume paper? I never thought of it before last week, but now I've thought of it at least ten times. Also, can I use my free Ducks Unlimited address labels? Probably not, but goodness that is silly--who would be offended by pictures of labs and ducks? Of course, I don't want it to say too much about me if that is something that maybe gives a warning vibe to the person doing the hiring--Ducks Unlimited labels probably scream, "Hello, Republican!" which may or may not be the message I want to send. Also, to put or not to put my sorority affiliation? I always do, but sometimes I wonder--it wasn't always that great of an experience, why do I feel like I need to broadcast it? Perhaps its because its the southern thing to do, and I am nothing if not a southern girl. Ah, well, the decision has already been made and my most important resumes are out in the world already.
I remember reading a story during my 2L year about a girl who applied for a job and the interviewer turned her away because she had a 2.7. The interviewer very snobbily told her that he didn't know how she got through their screening process because they rarely interviewed anyone with below a 3.0. I am proud to report that even that snobby interviewer couldn't have a problem with my GPA--but for some reason, I still feel inadequate, especially when I try to put every accomplishment proudly on paper. What if I don't have enough accomplishments? Even if I have a decent GPA, I'm not exactly top 10 of my class. I used to think my law school career was marked with mediocrity, but lately I've even gotten some awards. It makes me feel better, but I still sometimes feel like geez, why would anyone hire me, anyway?
I guess it's going as well as it could be going. Eleven applications down, who knows how many more to go? I will keep applying and applying until I get a job. And, let's face it, I will probably accept the first offer I get. In college, my friend turned down her first job offer and then didn't get another one for over a year. That will not be me. I will take what I can get and I will be grateful. Ideally, I will stay there, too. I am looking for a place where I can settle in and get comfortable--jobs are not, for me, a stepping stone to something better (unless I absolutely hate it). I feel like what I want most is to find a place where I am comfortable, where I have a couple kind mentors who will help me through the first few months, and where I can really grow some roots. I'm a stay-put kind of girl. When I find a cause and people I believe in, I tend to want to stay there forever. I hope I can find that job. Or maybe that job will find me. I doubt it; dream jobs don't generally just come knocking at the door. But then again, unsolicited resumes generally don't generate much interest. We shall see.
Wish me luck.
God, I hate a cover letter.
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