I am in the habit of naming things. Particularly things with voices and personalities. My GPS, a Garmin, is named Glinda. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I do think its a particularly clever name for a piece of technology that will always help me find my way home. I've even debated getting some of those cell phone jewels--in ruby red, of course--to decorate her. But so far, she's just a plain Garmin nuvi.
Sometimes I wonder how people in earlier days got around without the assistance of technology. Although I did not always have a GPS, I did always have (at the very least) access to Mapquest, which has gotten me to all of the unfamiliar destinations to which I have traveled since I turned sixteen. It seems so foreign to me that some people, years and years before the creation of Mapquest, actually had to use physical MAPS to help direct them to their destinations. I learned to use a map, of course, years ago, in school. I know all about compass roses and can translate a scale to however many miles a tiny portion of the map represents. But as far as figuring out how to get from one highway to another on a map, or looking at it and knowing exactly how to get there from where I am on a particular map, would just completely overwhelm me. No, thanks.
Generally I am very, very grateful for my trusty GPS. Sometimes, though, she makes a few mistakes. Not only is it infuriating when she says (in her British accent--yes, Glinda is British) "when possible, make a U turn," but there are some other glitchy things about her as well--all of which I noticed as I drove back from the baby shower for Lohryn in Richmond this past weekend. On a normal day, Richmond is about an hour and fifteen minutes away from where I live. Well, technically it was Midlothian--problem #1.
1. Glinda does not tell me when a toll is coming.
MapQuest didn't tell me at the TOP of the directions, but I could see, in parentheses, after parts of the directions that there would be a "portions toll." That was extremely helpful because I could make sure to always have some quarters on hand. On Saturday, I did not. Because I didn't think: Midlothian = Midlothian Turnpike. Even though that's the way I had to drive to go to college and I knew full well I needed 9 quarters then. And Glinda didn't tell me. So once I was on the turnpike, I realized I'd need money for the toll and I never carry any cash. Sometimes I'll have a little bit of random leftovers, but on this particular occasion, I had absolutely no physical money. Would they take a debit card? I worried the whole way there, but once I was on the turnpike, I couldn't even get off to look for an ATM without paying a toll anyway, so I stayed the course. The toll lady refused to take my debit card and said that they had to write an "I.O.U" for me. Basically, its a receipt that says how much the toll is. She told me, quite unhelpfully, I could just mail a check for 70 cents in to them within 30 days. Mail a check for 70 cents? My check is worth more than 70 cents! Geez. But I had no other option. The second toll lady waived me through, rolling her eyes at me. I guess I deserved it. I got cash at an ATM when I got there, paid an extra $3 service fee for it, and then paid my unpaid tolls when I went home.
It happened to me once before, in New Jersey. That time it was Sheila's fault, but at least then I didn't even have the benefit of knowing where she would take me. I got flicked off by the people behind me for taking too long then. God bless New Jersey. Just kidding. Who likes NJ?
That brings me to problem #2.
2. If you decide you don't like the route you're taking, she won't figure you up a different route, even if you know the route you'd like to go and just need to be re-directed a little to find where it starts.
On Saturday, there was a brush fire. Totally random, I know. But a huge chunk of the interstate was closed and the state police were re-routing people. Only, they didn't tell me how to get home and, without the interstate, I didn't know how to get to the other route I would have taken. And Glinda kept trying to re-route me back to the interstate that was closed! At the time, I didn't know there was a fire, so I thought if I went a little further down, I would be able to get on the interstate. I assumed there was an accident or something and, if I could just get down there a little bit further, my trip would be a lot less interrupted. I got totally lost. And a 1 hour and 15 minute drive took 3 hours. Thanks, Glinda.
All in all, a GPS is a very good thing to have. I use mine all the time and I even lend it to Andy so that he can get places he's going. But sometimes, she makes up things that aren't there (like, she'll tell me there's a Tropical Smoothie or a Cold Stone somewhere that there is clearly not). I would rather have a GPS than not, but, if I had my way, I would fix the Garmin software so that these things were solved for future generations of map-challenged GPS users.
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