I'm having a bit of a rough day. Well, it started last night. The lawyer finally emailed me back and set a date with me for an interview which you would think is 100% good news. But he scheduled it on Andy's birthday.
I know that, in this economy and with the very, very few opportunities that I've had, a job interview is one of the most important things in the world. But I also know that it feels really crappy to not be able to be there and do as much for Andy as I would like. We can pretend that birthdays are less and less important as we get older (and, maybe, in terms of gifts and elaborate parties, its true), but the truth is that its really, really nice to be remembered and have a special day where people really take the time to think about you--just you.
At first I thought about rescheduling, but I really do think that would be foolish. This guy is keeping count of every mistake and isn't afraid to remind me of them. He reminded me of the extra 1/4 page I wrote and asked me what I could do to make up for the prejudice that he had against me because of it. If I ask to reschedule for personal reasons, I might as well wave a little white flag and surrender right now. And I can't do that. This is too great of an opportunity. I mean, after all, he has spent so much time corresponding with me, and he even told me he's giving me a chance despite the fact that he just hired someone--which suggests to me that he's probably not even interviewing anyone else. So, really, this is a great (if not a once in a lifetime) opportunity. I don't think there's any debating that. And in the grand scheme of things, this job is most important--this job is what will make my life (and Andy's life) possible.
But I still feel like the worst girlfriend in the world and I have to figure out some way to make it up to him. Maybe I'll make a bunch of different desserts for him. I was trying to figure out what kind of cake he would like the most, but what he really likes best is key lime pie... so maybe I should make a couple of those. I could also take him out to dinner... And maybe buy tickets to a baseball game... I already got him a present, but I really feel like I need to go above and beyond now that I won't be there for most of the day. He always takes off work on his birthday (must be nice, I went to school and then drove home for 6 hours on mine) and I know he wants to go fishing for drum. Because of this interview, I will miss all of that.
So, I guess what I am saying is... I'm taking suggestions. If you have thought of anything to make a birthday really special, please let me know. I'm all ears, because right now I'm feeling pretty much like the worst girlfriend in the world. And that sucks.
I'm really excited about this interview in theory. It's a great opportunity and an awesome firm with a really, really good reputation. And this guy has taken a long time to get to know me. Much better than any other lawyers I've corresponded with. After all, its harder to turn down someone that you know than it is to turn down someone you barely know at all. I feel like this may be my chance...and its something I've been obsessing over for weeks and weeks. It's not like I can turn down the opportunity, but I feel terrible about it. I have to fix it somehow. I'm not really sure how, but I have to make it better.
Everyone I've talked to thinks I'm doing the right thing--or, if they think I'm not, they're not telling me. I hope I'm making the right decision. Unless I don't get the job, and then I'll probably feel terrible for a long time. I have to buy some baseball tickets. That will help assuage my guilt.
I definitely knowwhere you're coming from - because my fiance got scheduled to fly to China for 3 weeks on a business trip two days before my birthday. So not only did I not get to spend my bday with him, I didnt even get to talk to him on it. But I could be pissed about it, or bitter, but in the grand scheme of things, he was doing something that was going to be majorly helping his career, and we got to celebrate the week before. So it all works out.
ReplyDeleteI think Andy will understand. While that probably wont help you feel better (C said he felt so guilty about it, even though I had made it clear that I was NOT upset), you have a major career opportunity for you. So think of it this way - he can get spoiled by his family on his special day, then get ANOTHER day to get pampered by his fabulous girlfriend. You two can schedule a special fishing weekend or outing, or cook him an awesome dinner and dessert and totally pamper him, or surprise him with some hard-to-get tickets to a show or baseball game. And in all honesty, I felt spoiled because I had TWO birthdays this year, so I'm sure he will understand. Also, feel free to fb message me if you want recipe ideas or more brainstorming - I totally go all out on birthdays and I'm a crazy planner.
You are totally right, and I'm starting to feel a lot better about it.
ReplyDeleteThis morning I started to try to coordinate a birthday party. We're going to have some friends down to visit for dinner... There's a restaurant that Andy really likes and we can take the boat over there and dock it while we eat. Talk about a fun entrance! Hopefully a bunch of his friends will be able to come and it'll be a big hit.
We will also look into baseball tickets and stuff, too. We'll figure it out, and hopefully I'll get the job, too.
Thanks so much for all your help, though--it definitely, definitely makes me feel a million times better to know other people go through the same things.