This morning is the last time that I ever write anything as a law student.
My last exam, a take home for Employment Law, is due today by 3:30. And once it's turned it, that's the end of my law school career.
It's hard to believe. I feel like I'm stalling because I'm not really sure how much I want it to be over. As much as I've complained about it (and as much as sometimes I've genuinely hated it), it's hard to face the end of one phase and truly feel prepared for what the next will bring--when you're not even sure what that means. I've been a student for a really long time. Some of my friends have taken years off, but I'm not one of those people. I'm 25, and I have been in school every single year since four year old preschool started. That's more than two decades worth of school--and the time of my life where I wasn't in school, I don't even remember.
The whole bar exam thing is really pretty inconvenient, because it means that I have several months of limbo where I'm nobody--not a student, not a working person. But I guess being a bar studier is a respectable thing. And I'll work for my dad sometimes, and part time bait girl is a part of my identity that has existed since I was 15.
I'll keep blogging, but I'm going to have to be something more than a (somewhat) regretful law student, since I'm only a law student for a couple more hours.
And it's funny that it turns out that maybe I'm not so regretful after all. This may have been the best choice I've ever made. After all, I have never been so excited about the prospect of any kind of job as I am about the one I have back home. People keep telling me how many hours I'll have to work, and I respond with, "OMG, I hope so!" I can't wait to make my mark, can't wait to belong to this firm, can't wait to decorate an office and make my case in court and make my own money and prove to everyone (including myself) that I can hold my own in this setting. It's the most exciting, the most intimidating, and the most rewarding thing I have ever faced and, right this minute, I sort of feel like every tear I shed, every time I was worried I'd fail, every single time a professor Socratic-method-ed me---was totally worth it.
Of course, I am viewing the world through the rose colored lens of the newly employed (but yet to start working). Still, I really don't think that my opinion will change. I was so deeply impressed with the people from the firm that I met at my interview, and I eagerly anticipate the next time I get to have contact with them--they're that cool. Who gets to work with people that they'd totally want to hang out with anyway? Yeah--this girl.
If I didn't have a job, I wouldn't be nearly so eagerly anticipating being finished. It's hard to believe that, out of all the promising talent and impressive resumes that I have been surrounded by for the past three years, I was one of the elite few to have been singled out for employment pre-graduation. It's not like I'm more talented that my classmates. Certainly not smarter. In fact, in many situations, I'm much, much dumber. I got lucky. That's the truth. I found someone who appreciated me for my personality and was able to interrogate me and got what he wanted out of it, and I got hired more because of my emails and quirky personality than because of my law school career. I guess he figures, as I have long suspected, that we're all really pretty even anyway. Even the ones who are good at law school may not be good at being a lawyer--or maybe we're all equally good at being lawyers, once we get going. But law school doesn't teach you how to be a lawyer--I saw that when I worked in clinic. Law school teaches you where to find stuff, but many of the things that you have to do in real practice are not anything like what you get taught in class. And, it has to be said, legal research and writing is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard of in my life.
I hope that all my classmates find the kind of job I've found: one that is exactly what they want. I know how scary it is to be unemployed, especially if you feel unconnected to the profession as a whole (because your daddy isn't a lawyer). I really do hope that my closest friends, especially, find something soon that eases their mind and makes them look forward to the transition. They deserve it. We all deserve it. We're pretty awesome, it has to be said.
In a few hours, I will be done with law school. I wonder how that will feel. I've always said that turning in an exam, and then turning around to walk out the door of the classroom--is one of the most rewarding experiences there is. I love the feeling that you've done something, done it well, turned it in...and now you're free. You can walk away and, tonight, you won't even have to study for it. You can set that book aside, because you've been there, done that. I've always relished that feeling and looked forward to the next time I'd experience it. Today, for me, is the last time.
Yesterday I also found out that my landlord will be replacing my carpet in my apartment, so I don't need to have it cleaned, which means three things.
1. I save $80. Sweet.
2. I can watch the royal wedding and related television programs all day in the privacy of my own home without being disturbed.
3. I can go home early instead of waiting.
Although number 2 is probably the most important of the three, number 3 is also interesting. I planned originally to have my landlord come look over my apartment with me on Monday morning, because on Friday it'd take like 4 hours for my carpets to dry and stuff and I was afraid I wouldn't have enough time to get everything really clean before Monday (since I figured I'd be working on exams through today). But that's not the case. I've been pretty free, and even had time to go shopping on Tuesday and get a pedi yesterday. So I'm going to call my landlord today and see if she'll come look my apartment over tomorrow (afternoon, of course, I don't want to miss any of the wedding). And then I can leave on Saturday morning.
Can you believe it? Two days and I can be gone. It's bittersweet.
In a few hours, I won't be a law student anymore.
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