In my clinic, I am working on a case. The subject matter of the case is unimportant. However, what is important is that this is my first case that may require a court appearance (yesss!) and in which I will actually have to confer with opposing counsel. Intimidating? Earlier today, I would have said yes. Now, though, recent facts have come to light that have made me feel infinitely more optimistic about my chances for success, not only in this case, but in life in general.
Opposing counsel in this case is a young woman, who is currently the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for a nearby county. Apparently she is a graduate of my law school, a former clinic student, a successful bar-passer, and has now been out in the real world, practicing for six years. At first glance, she sounds like a success and an inspiration. Hopefully, I thought, when I finally had to face her for this case that I'm working on, she would be understanding of my plight as a clinic student, sympathetic and willing to help. Now, though, I have no qualms in facing her in court. In fact, I will hold my head up high because I have not screwed up that badly yet. Perhaps writing this in my blog makes it much more likely that my day is coming. My karma points are building up against me. But still, this is far too good not to report.
In my well-meaning research, I stumbled across some case law pertaining to my most honorable opposing counsel... Apparently, in one year, from November 2005 until November 2006, homegirl was able to rack up 377 (no, there is no typo) parking meter violations in the city where she works. THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN. Want proof? Here's an excerpt from the case, with names and identifying details deleted (not because I have to but because it seems like the decent thing to do, she's probably embarrassed enough already):
"The City of ____ cited Appellant _____, Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for __ County, with 377 separate parking meter violations from November 2005 through November 2006.
Both appellants executed amnesty agreements with the City of Fairmont. Under Ms. Hawkins agreement, she was to pay $3,801.00, which total represents all of the 377 parking fine assessments and half of the penalties levied as a result of the unanswered parking violations.
Subsequently, the appellants became delinquent in the payments. As a result, notice was sent to Ms. Hawkins on June 22, 2007, and July 16, 2007 to appear before the Municipal Court on August 16, 2007, at 3:30 p.m. to answer the parking meter violations. Neither appellant appeared at the hearing. As a result, the municipal court issued capiases for the appellants' arrests. Thereafter, the appellants were taken into custody, processed, given an opportunity to post bond and provided a date and time to appear before the municipal court for failure to appear at the scheduled hearing."
Did you get that? Not ONLY did homegirl get 377 parking meter violations in just 365 days (do you realize that means that frequently this girl had more than one violation PER DAY?), she also did not respond to her tickets, did not pay her fines, and did not show up in municipal court for her hearing. Just a side note: Courts don't like it when you don't show up for hearings. That's probably why she was TAKEN INTO CUSTODY and had to post bond. Yikes. I'm not going to lie, part of me feels extremely sympathetic towards her, because she probably works in an area where parking is extremely inconvenient...but still, part of me is like "Woohoo! Comparatively, I'm a success!" Still, I am sympathetic enough that I will protect her name, even though the case is a matter of public record at this point. Still, it's good to know that I will be a success once I start the bar and start practicing without getting 377 parking meter violations, which, except for the bar passage part, shouldn't be that terribly hard. Of course, that is not to say that I have NEVER had any run ins with the law--from time to time I have been accused of having a lead-filled right foot. But still--at least it hasn't happened to me 377 times.
I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to meeting her. I have this vision of what a person who manages to get 377 parking meter violations looks like, and I'm eager to see how true to life my imagined person is. Probably pretty far from it, but still. How often do you get to meet a repeat offender like that?
I'm sorry, Assistant Prosecuting Attorney, that it is your shame that today fills me with inexplicable glee. I've messed up, I'm told that I'm too stupid to function, I have to re-write my documents a million times before they are approved to go out to clients, and I still blush painfully pink whenever I'm called on in class (the scars of 1L year fade with time, but my subconscious is still somewhat battered and paranoid). But...I'm not THAT bad. Cheers!
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